Semantic Reality

The complexity of relationships has always bewildered me.  An individual is simply incapable of being on the same page as any other person.  Poetry about the ceaselessness of living on an island has been abound.  We may cope with our emotional idiosyncrasies with loneliness, self-deprecation and pity.  In the final analysis, we are each a product of our unique history.  We experience, then we learn, then we alter future actions to maximize the payoff of future, similar experiences.  Certainly, this inherent characteristic of all humans has been a fundamental element of our evolution and continued survival.  To learn is to build off of the foundation that is already established.  It creates a dynamic, sophisticated existence for each and every one of us.

How can we manage to have successful relationships while operating with a singular sense of the truth?  Recently, a dialogue ensued with me and a friend.  We agreed that “relationships are complicated”, suggesting that they are difficult enough to noticeably reduce the probability of success. How do we contend with our counterpart seeing different colors from the same canvas, hearing a different melody from the same song, associating a different emotion from the same poem?  We may choose to accept, or may choose to reject.  Implicitly,  if we choose to reject, we are choosing isolation, which may appear to be a viable choice, but our innate social engineering will eventually prompt our subconscious minds to drive towards relationships, resulting in an internal conflict.

Essentially, relationships are a critical facet of our existence and resisting this basic need leads to depression, isolation, and a greater sense of hopelessness.  Accordingly, if we are fortunate enough to meet someone with a similar perspective on life, accept whatever deviations do exist, and hold on for dear life.

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2 thoughts on “Semantic Reality

  1. I am particularly interested in this post. I have struggled with the complexity of relationships as well. Why are some relationships so hard? How much of happiness, as it relates to a relationship is left to chance? A chance meeting, shift in mood, fleeting feelings, something said, could change the outcome so easily. Why do some relationships endure and others run a natural but short course? Why is there an attraction to one person but not another?

    I seem to be caught in a circular dilemma. An old friend professes a great love for me that I just cannot return; and at the same time I’m experiencing a painful unrequited love myself. Both scenarios are agonizing and to be stuck in the middle at the same time is crushing.

    A quote from the movie ‘Silver Linings Playbook’ echoes with me. Robert Di Nero’s character Pat said this to his son regarding his relationship in the movie.
    “I’m telling you, you gotta pay attention to the signs. When life reaches out with a moment like this, it’s a sin if you don’t reach back. I’m telling you, it’s a sin if you don’t reach back, and it’ll haunt you for the rest of your days like a curse.“

    If you have a chance at happiness but there are only a few obstacles in the way….”it is a sin if you don’t reach back”.

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  2. I am veritably not an expert on relationships, spending more time at the keyboard than in the company of people. Simplistically, my inept perspective leads me to believe that engaging in a relationship must be so essential to both parties that they are willing to overcome (or ignore) all obstacles. I just don’t have a complete answer to this.

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